Leaving Udaipur

A little over 9 months is enough time to make some roots in a community when living abroad. I feel fortunate to say I have left some roots in Udaipur. It is hard to reflect in depth about my experience at this point, so I will rather share some recent events and thoughts leading up to my departure - but I should note these do not document the many other happenings in my last months in Udaipur.

A Double Hol(y) Week

Easter and the Hindu festival called Holi fell on the same weekend this year - what I called a double Hol(y) week. Holi encompasses both religious and social meanings. A demon goddess named Holika is cleverly smited by other gods in a compelling story in Hindu mythology. To celebrate this triumph, effigies of Holika are lit aflame at road interactions during an auspicious time. The one in my neighborhood was about 15 feet tall and went up in flames within seconds. But the crux about Holi is the throwing of colors. Bright colorful powders are thrown on everybody within sight and are also smeared on one’s face. It intends to celebrate the coming of spring in a fun way. It is also an excuse for unabated drinking by crowds of men around town; most women "play colors" indoors with friends and family. My friend Dave and I rode around town on our bicycles to get the full Holi experience. We danced in alleys with groups of guys to blaring music, dodged water balloons and buckets being thrown from rooftops, and of course threw and received a bounty of colors to the point where I looked more like a rainbow rather than a Caucasian. We were invited and received food at friends’ homes throughout the day. To top it all off, we rode to a lake outside of town in the rural areas, to cool off and clean up with a dip in the water. Although cooling, it took a lot of scrubbing in a shower once at home to get the colors off my face.

The following day I attended Easter service and Dave and I had our "Easter dinner" together since our other friends were outside of town. And to my surprise, I became nostalgic for the first time in 9 months (being home for a short while a few weeks earlier didn’t give a sense of "home" since it was a short time, for a funeral, and for a graduate school interview). It just wasn’t the same without the pastels, Easter eggs, a hearty dinner with family and affirmation of the Resurrection in a community of believers. Sometimes it gets tiring explaining who I am, where I am from, and what I believe and why. People know who you are at home.

Work and Planning

When I last wrote you all, I was about to seek peer review of the document I authored in consultation with my colleagues entitled, "Locating HIV Prevention and Men’s Participation in Women’s and Children’s Health within Primary Health Care." The peer reviews were slow to come in, so that delayed progress a bit. Eventually I started reformatting the document into a grant proposal which aims to be a three year program and a component of the future planning of ARTH, the NGO I volunteered with. Although frustrated that I did not fully complete it, I feel confident, and was assured by Dr. Sharad, that the proposal will go ahead. I should note, however, that I was planning my seven weeks of travel (six in India and one in London and Paris) and working on some program descriptions for a maternal and child health conference during this time. It is hard to be efficient when a person is "learning by doing."

It is tempting among intern volunteers in the program that networked me into my host organization and family to become overly concerned with the goals and projects of "my project." On many levels this is a legitimate concern since a person is investing a significant amount of money and time into "the project" and living abroad. This is accentuated when the stay of the individual is even shorter. However, I eventually took my role in my host organization in strides. As mentioned in previous emails, I viewed myself as a catalyst for some sort of change within my organization. I came in with the perception of working on some type of HIV related project. But as I developed relationships with my colleagues, studied and engaged the field (health care in low resource settings with a focus on maternal and child health) and the community (rural program area and semi-urban Udaipur environment), "my project" was modified. How to include men in the health of women and children became a theme to be balanced with an appropriate HIV/AIDS and STI intervention plan (there are many facets of HIV/AIDS and STI programming) that matched ARTH’s current capacities and goals. I am leaving A LOT of detail of this project evolution and the technical aspects that accompany such planning, so this brief synopsis remains inadequate. Seeing the realities on the ground and feeling confident that my small contribution will be carried on after I left provided inspiration throughout my work.

The Goodbyes

In the days leading up to my departure, I had a series of "goodbyes" and meetings with my friends and colleagues which brought me great joy. My Hindi teacher, Ms. Rachna Shan, and I exchanged gifts as we always mutually enjoyed each other’s company. The housing coordinator for my host family made me my favorite Rajasthani dinner. A good friend I made during my time here, Dave, who volunteers in another NGO, and I had an all-evening conversation on life, our futures, and the inevitable philosophical discussions we normally shared. I had several lunches with my supervisors and mentors, Drs. Sharad and Kirti Iyengar. My colleagues at work held a "goodbye" meeting on my last day during which we shared stories of my stay and work. The friends I made at work and in other NGOs came to a "goodbye" dinner filled with good food and company. The family who welcomed me to their home on Christmas day and for carols invited me over once again. Their daughter, Sarah, made me an apple pie with a recipe my mom uses back home in the US. My host mother made another one of my favorite Rajasthani dishes on my last day. And my host family, the Mehtas, took me out for ice cream sundaes and gave me a set of sleeping wear so when I sleep at night, I would remember Udaipur. All these events made me feel blessed, fortunate, and cared for. But I was also literally blessed.

I went to see Father Lesser the day before I left to pay for the books of his, which he wrote, that I had taken from him when we met for Christmas carols three months earlier. We talked about the books, some theology, and the uncertainty of leaving and not knowing the life and vocational path ahead. "Like all things," he said, "the answer lies in prayer." He then spoke on the different aspects of prayer during which he highlighted the fact most people ask but do not prepare to receive (from God) during prayer. So we prayed and I aimed to receive. And in a soothing voice, he read John 14:1-4, in which Jesus says, "Let not your heart be troubled..." for God is in and with you if you believe; Jesus is preparing a place for you in his Father’s house, which has many rooms. This passage indeed put my heart at peace, for to hear that I should not be troubled and that God has a place for me is a comforting thought at a time when I am leaving a settled place and constantly ask myself, "What am I going to do with my life?" Father Lesser then put his hand on my head, and blessed me, which I again found to be warming and comforting. He said afterward he believed God had brought me to him today. As I left, I said, "Take care." He turned to me and stated, "No. God will take care of me. And [today] I take care of you."